Oh, I was that asshole that raced you on the treadmill at the gym. Yep, that was me. You’d get on the treadmill, start putting in your speed and soon, you’d see mine made slightly higher. Each increase you made, so did I. Each minute you put in, I put in one more. You were not staying on that treadmill longer than me. This was not a race I was going to lose. Gym jerk – ME.
For me, exercise had become about punishment, competition, and numbers. It was not about strength, endurance, health benefits, or plain enjoyment. Oh no, it was about wearing myself down till I was exhausted with every single workout. If I worked out in the morning and I didn’t “feel it” enough, I worked out again. If I didn’t hit the totals I wanted in mileage or reps, I worked out again. If I ate more calories than I had planned that day, I workout out again.
I was playing a dangerous game. I was suffering. I was getting more compliments than ever.
I was praised for my so-called dedication and obedience. I was being ‘so good.’
I was an example of someone who had changed their body through hard work and sheer willpower. Isn’t that what everyone’s always selling – if you want it enough, you’ll make it happen. No excuses. Just Do It. Blah, blah, blah.
I was utterly miserable.
I hated the person I was. I was missing special events with friends and family, to go to the gym or stay “on track.” I was cranky, short-tempered, and starting to lose my hair. I was pushing myself further and longer with each workout and my body was resisting. My entire world was about losing weight through beating myself up with exercise – literally little else mattered.
Then I just stopped.
My body wouldn’t budge.
It wouldn’t let me run (my preferred method of exercise).
I literally went out for a run and couldn’t get myself back home.
That was it.
Some years later (and lots of education), I’ve remembered what exercise was to me before I became obsessed with miles logged and numbers totaled. It was a way to feel connected to my body, to appreciate what it could do, and how I felt afterward – hello, endorphins. It simply made me feel good. Running used to be something I truly loved, then it became something I dreaded because the intention changed. It was punishment for what I ate or how bad I felt about myself.
It took me a long time before I tied up my laces and hopped on the treadmill again. I didn’t use a tracker or pay attention to the mileage, but focused on how my heart felt in my chest and my legs underneath me. I took it slow. I didn’t get upset that I couldn’t immediately and easily crank out the # miles I used to do every day. I just let myself enjoy the movement and most importantly, let myself stop when I had had enough.
It was the intention behind the workout, not the workout itself.
When you change your intention behind your workouts (and eating for that matter), it becomes about enjoyment and even say, pleasure. The impact is completely different. Exercise becomes about movement, not punishment for what your body is not. If you feel in any way the way I did, it may be time to start changing your intention while appreciating and respecting what your body can do.
Here’s 5 ways to start removing the pressure of workouts and practice enjoyable movement. Remember to come from a place of curiosity, not judgment, with any thoughts or feelings that may arise.
- Take a complete break or do the opposite of what you’re doing now. If you’re doing high-intensity, HIIT, or numbers-based workouts – such as Orange Theory or Crossfit – try hiking, yoga, or simply walking your neighborhood.
– Do you feel anxious about this? Do you feel like it’s not enough exercise? How did your body feel with these workouts? Did you allow yourself to feel connected and attuned with your body instead of in a place of judgement?
- Get rid of the trackers. No Fitbits or Apple watches or whatever. If you’re using a machine, cover it up with a towel.
– Did you feel like your workout didn’t count? Did you feel free or anxious? Did your workout feel different? How did your body feel during and after? Do you rely on trackers more or less than you realized?
- Only schedule workout classes you like – that super fun spin class with great music vs. that popular boot camp class you absolutely hate.
– Do you feel guilty for not attending that class when it promises ‘x’ results? Do you feel like you’re ‘missing out?’ Do you feel relieved?
- Stay in your own lane. Do not compare workouts, bodies at the gym, mileage totaled, etc. Don’t do challenges that make you feel stressed, not excited.
– Do you feel free or lost? Where are these feelings coming from? How or why is it valuable to compare? How is it hurting you?
- Remove any pressure around exercise. We all know the phrase, “No pain, no gain,” but the truth is, you can put in a lot of “pain” and only get, well, pain. If you’re always pushing to that next rep or stretching for that next yoga pose, try and take a mental step back. It doesn’t always have to be about maxing out or only doing the advanced moves. It should be about what feels good in that moment.
– Did you feel like you didn’t give it your all? Did you feel relieved that you didn’t have to overtly push yourself? How has this changed how you look at your workouts? More so, how you feel during your workouts?
Yes, I was that asshole that raced your on the treadmill. Hand up. That was 100% me.bNow I’m telling you that that kind of ‘dedication to the gym’ was ruining my life and my health. Exercise is about movement and that movement should be enjoyable. Period.
