It’s far too easy to go through life completely disconnected from your body and blaming it for not being the way you’d like it to be. We need body attunement and the best way of re-connecting is nourishing it. Now, I’m not talking lotions and mirror-work, though I do love those practices, but rather how we talk, view, and even dress our bodies. The messages we send our bodies have impact. Here are 5 ways to start showing yourself come love and respect right this moment.
- Getting Comfortable
Are you wearing the same undergarments you did before you gained the weight? Ill-fitting bras and undies legit makes you feel like c-r-a-p. You know this ladies… How good does it feel to find a bra that fits ever-so-perfectly? It doesn’t pinch. The straps aren’t desperate for attention and stay put? Your ta-tas are comfy and rocking that t-shirt game. Underwear that rolls down, elastic snapping into your thigh, and dare I say it…holes where your legs do not go. C’mon.
Now, before you start saying, “I don’t want to spend the money when I don’t intend on staying this size for long,” or “ I’ll buy some when I lose X pounds,” or “I’ll buy some new stuff in a smaller size and that will be my motivation,” hear me out. Wearing things that don’t fit is a constant reminder of where you’re not and guess what, that’s not going to help you in any way. It won’t make the process easier or move any faster. Wearing things that don’t make you feel sexy or even comfortable is going to make you feel, you guessed it, less attractive and uncomfortable. Now this goes beyond your tighty-whities – this goes for your clothes too. Wear what you are accustomed to, regardless of the size. Wearing sweats when you feel your best in tailored pants and blouses is going to play a harsh game on your self-esteem.
Even if your weight has remained the same or even lost, but you haven’t refreshed your undergarments game in some time, this is still for you. Even old cars need new tires every now and again…
- Quit the Body Check Game
You know this game. You might not even know you’re playing it. You walk into a room and instantly start assessing where you stand in the weight line. She’s bigger than me, but I’m smaller than her… Oh, I’m the fattest/skinniest/fittest one here. It’s the silent comparison we do in our heads with friends, family, and complete strangers. We may even avoid social situations because this game is a soul-crusher. We look and we judge. We unfairly compare. Why can’t I look as good as her? Oh, she lost weight. Why don’t I look like that after my baby? Let’s take a second. None of us know anything about anyone’s body or life. Yeah, Carole looks thinner, but Carole has been going through some major shit. We simply don’t know and to compare is truly…a waste of time.
- Stop Body Shaming And Start Respecting Body Diversity
You’ve heard it before and you’ll hear it again, if you don’t respect your body and are constantly chiding it for all it’s downfalls, you will not see any positive change. Negative actions do not create positive reactions. Your body is listening. Even if you are able to beat it into submission through deprivation and extreme exercise, it’s only a matter of time before your body gives you the middle finger and starts putting things in reverse. Each disparaging thought, every little comment you may say while passing a mirror, that tiny thought about your jeans being slightly tighter than they were last week – those add up.
Would you speak to your child about their body the way you talk about yours? I certainly hope not (and if you are, you are in the wrong place my friend). Would you tell your friend that she could stand to lose a few pounds and that top would look way better? Eff no -because that’s not how we see and respect others. Those thoughts would never cross our minds, but they do about ourselves when we catch our reflection. We respect the diversity of others, but not our own body diversity. No one has a body like yours. Good, bad, or ugly, take some pride in that fact.
- No More Fat Talking
This is public body shaming that seems to be a social habit of women. You know it… You’re sitting at brunch and Tammy says, “I am getting the pancakes because why not – these pants aren’t fitting anyways!” or Karen state, “Ugh, I’ll just have the fruit salad because I’ve been a total slob lately.” WTF, Tammy and Karen. Well, it’s a part of what we do. It’s a sense of community to be in this ‘losing weight struggle,’ together. We even shame people for pulling away and going against this honored tradition of body bashing in a group setting. Don’t be afraid to break away form the herd on this one. Don’t engage in public body shaming and instead, give positive feedback and support to yourself and others. And please, Tammy, just order the damn pancakes because their amazing and I want a bite.
- Get Rid of the Scale and the “Skinny Goal” Piece of Clothing
These “tools” are those of a chronic dieter. The scale sits quietly in the bathroom awaiting it’s daily morning moment of either making you feel like a million bucks and like a total failure. This little piece of equipment knows nothing about you and your efforts, it just spits a number and that number has so much power. WHY? Why do we let a pound gained derail our efforts or a pound lost make us feel like there’s rainbows shooting from our ears? It’s a pound. One measly pound or what ever amount it is up or down. Why do we give so much power to a number?
You can be higher on the scale but crushing your runs and smaller on the scale and feeling like a turd or vise versa. The scale does not tell you how you feel, but rather makes you infer feelings of disappointment or false entitlement. But Christie, I don’t use a scale to measure my failure or success, I have a pair of goal shorts I will fit in X time. First, if you say those shorts are from high school, I may punch you. The desire to constantly go back to our 16-year old bodies is truly depressing. That body served you then. It doesn’t mean it will serve you now. Even if you are at the same weight now, I promise you that your body is not the same. Besides, do you really feel motivated when you put those shorts on and they don’t fit? Probably not. Most likely you feel further from your goals and reminded that you are not where you want to be. Get rid of this so-called tool. Go by how you feel. Are you sleeping better? Are you intuitively eating and feeling true satisfaction? Are you happy? We often look for outside measures of our efforts, when really the internal ones are the best. Give yourself some credit and trust.
What ways are you showing yourself some RESPECT? Share below.
