Yeah, you heard me. An IG fitness ‘model’ whose page is filled with ‘fitspo,’ shared a screenshot of a text conversation she had with her husband. It went something like this:
Her: Tell me I should go workout my fat ass instead of napping.
Him: Move your fat ass and stop laying on the couch!
Her: Thanks, sweetie! I was lacking motivation.
And she’s pregnant.
Seriously.
Let’s go over some of the many reasons this is wrong.
- Fat-shaming – Whether asked for in a “light-hearted’ manner or as “workout motivation” is not okay. Fat-shaming is bullying, period. Being fat is not something to be ashamed of. Internalizing fat-shaming language, then asking for someone to partake, is only validating untrue, hurtful criticisms.
Instead – Ask for loving support (and don’t give me that BS about tough love). Can your partner/friend/whomever join you in some enjoyable movement? Can they help you do some meal prep so you don’t have to worry about it day-to-day? Asking for help and motivation doesn’t mean spewing hurtful phrases in hopes of making you feel so bad about yourself that you’ll kill yourself in the gym.
- She’s pregnant. I was so mad when I saw that screen shot. I was made when I read her comment praising him for obliging her. I was furious when I saw she was pregnant. During pregnancy, it is more vital than ever to listen to your body’s cues and messages. If you are tired, rest. If you are hungry, eat. It is truly a time to reintroduce yourself to your body because you guys are going through some big changes together. And that big change is pretty special – baby time! Worrying about your pants size after baby can come up, but making yourself workout or push for the sake of clothes when your body is asking for rest ain’t going to doing you any favors.
Instead – We all know the benefits of exercise and that doesn’t change during pregnancy. However, working out for the sake of weight loss makes exercise a punishment against your body instead of a celebration of what it can do. Incorporate joyful movement, meaning doing exercises that make you feel good, not like you barely survived. There is no shame in simply walking versus doing crossfit. And here’s a big thing – if you don’t feel like working out, then don’t. You do not have to push. You do not have to live by the motto “no excuses.” You are not a failure because you chose rest over the gym. Enough of that do or die crap.
- She’s an IG personality. Her message, and I assume livelihood, is centered around her appearance and people commenting #goals. Her messages are deeply rooted in diet-mentality shrouded in the guise of “health,” – you know the exercise lots and eat little nonsense. Why would things suddenly change when she’s pregnant? Now it’s all #fitpregnancy and fitting back in pre-pregnancy jeans when you leave the hospital with the new baby. C’mon! What is happening here? Of her many followers, some may be struggling with body image and disordered eating. Following someone whose body ticks a lot of checkboxes according to society’s perfect body standards and then that person shames her body by asking for it from her spouse, can only leave people feeling hurt and worried about their own bodies. “If she thinks she’s fat, then I’m disgusting.” “I didn’t look half that good when I was pregnant…” “What is wrong with my body that no matter what I do diet-wise, I still don’t come close to that.” Listen, everyone is entitled to their feelings about their bodies and it can be good and bad at times, but to be an IG personality boasting health and then body-shaming – NO.
Instead – Be mindful of what you put into the world – good, bad, and everything in-between. The intention may not have come from a malicious place, but the impact left me sour. An IG personality that claims health then openly asks for body shaming against her pregnant body, I hope you lost a lot of followers – you lost mine that very minute. These messages are harmful and dangerous.
- Her spouse did the wrong thing. Sorry, buddy, but took the absolute wrong step here. I don’t care if she asked for it. I don’t care if it was a joke. Pregnant or not, participating in the “shame me so I’ll workout…or stop eating…or whatever” is NOT okay. That woman is someone you love and is carrying your child – and you just called her a fat-ass. Wow. Think about that one for a minute. I promise you, a little bit, deep down, even if she doesn’t even realize it, that hurt her. You did that. Don’t do it again.
Instead- Don’t play this game at all. Ever. Offer to join her for a workout or take care of x-y-z for her so that she can later if she wants. Encourage her to love her body because you love it too. Call her beautiful, because she is. Tell her that her body is amazing, because it is. Do NOT call her a fat-ass. Or I swear, I’ll hunt you down.
We all have a choice in who we follow on social media. If someone’s message isn’t sitting right with you or makes you feel bad about yourself even for a secod, do yourself a favor and unfollow. Following fitness personalities that brag health and then participate in fat-shaming is a major contradiction. Being healthy, no matter what that means to you, does not include fat-shaming, towards yourself or others. No matter your body shape, eating or exercise habits, or current feelings about your body at this point in time, you don’t deserve to be fat-shamed, requested or not.
Have you ever utilized fat-shaming as “workout motivation?”
